For the past few years, I have had a great prayer life. As you are aware from my previous posts, since I started praying, my life has changed. Now you would ask me how, and I will need to write a series of posts to explain that to you. However, for now. let’s just say it changed.

Matthew 6:6 “But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

Last year, when I started praying in spirit, things started shifting, and I started getting revelations from Holy Spirit, which made me feel that I was moving from one place to another. From Glory to Glory.

For a few weeks, it was great. Along with prayers and right after, I would be asked to write down the word of God – something that I saw in the vision, and then, a specific scripture would be revealed to me. I was happy. It felt complete, and I knew I was transforming.

With the 2 tools I had, the prayers and the word, I started feeling absolutely on the right track. I was meditating over each word, and every time it felt like Holy Spirit was illuminating a particular word or a phrase for me. Once I would deep dive, I would get to learn more and more – it was a never-ending but beautiful journey.

As the scriptures said, I had a regular prayer life, and I was reading God’s word and meditating over them regularly, and no surprise, the transformation was happening.

2 Timothy 3:16–17 “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

And then something shifted…

The shift was subtle. Since prayers were my survival, that did not change. I would pray every morning without fail and also be in unceasing prayer all day long – I will talk about unceasing prayer in another post. However slowly, just as more time was given to me by the Holy Spirit for prayers, he would shift my early morning meetings to late mornings without me having to decline them – No effort.. which gave me time for the prayers, I started getting less and less time after an hour of prayer to read the scriptures. I started losing my interest in reading the Bible, and screens started taking over. In the early days, I felt a hunger to learn more, and now that was diminishing.

TV, social media and phone started capturing the exact moments that were otherwise designed to be quiet times.

Guit made it worse..

I kept praying and saying that I was lifting all my worries to him, but the reality was I was holding on to the guilt. I prayed that he would help me surrender, but the reality was that I was strongly holding on to the guilt.

It was becoming this huge mountain that I was unable to climb. After a while, I stopped praying about it. Until recently.. I felt the hunger again.

I felt the Holy Spirit calling out to me. I felt desperation, I felt a craving as though I had not eaten for years, and that was true; I had not meditated over the scriptures for months.

It was then that I heard Holy Spirit speak – He wanted to help me get back to meditating on scripture and pondering over God’s word, but not just that, he wanted me to understand how subtle a change can be that takes someone away from him. In this scenario, what saved me was listening to Him and being obedient to him.

I prayed constantly for a week for his help to make me hungry for his word, and behold! He did.

This morning, I had the urge and the time to go back to the scriptures. I started from Psalm all over again. No particular relevance, just something he has asked me to do before. It is almost like starting from scratch. I started.. My commitment is to be consistent.. In psalms I read –

Psalm 1:1–2 “Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked… but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night.”

Some time back, I had told him that if there was something to know about him, I wanted to know it, but as easy as it was to ask for it, my flesh took over, and I went astray.

Even though this is my journey, one thing I wanted to share with all of you is that this will happen… we will go astray, we are not perfect. But..

When we surrender our will to Holy Spirit, we have nothing to worry about. He will warn, correct and discipline us. We need to forge forward with belief, surrender and our love for Abba, Yeshua and Holy Spirit.

I believe that I will not falter moving forward and be consistent with my reading, but I will let you know…

Untill then..

God, take my prayer life deeper. Move me beyond surface-level requests into true intimacy with You. Teach me to listen as much as I speak. Help me to sit in Your presence, to wait on You, and to trust that You hear every word I pray. Let my prayer life bear fruit in my character, my faith, and my relationship with You. Amen.

God Bless you!